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Joke of the Day

"Just had an interview with a girl with a lazy eye. So I just had an interview with a girl with a lazy eye....didn't know what eye to look at.....so I just stared at her tits."

"The hardest part of potty training my puppy is shitting outside with him so he can learn how to"

"*Jesus looks over bill from last supper* ""It looks like a fair tip would be about 30 silver."" ""I got this!"" Judas yells, almost too quickly."

"Dear investors, I'd like to make a chap stick called ""food court Chinese food."" Please snapchat if interested."

"What's the worst thing to hear after you have sex with Steve Buscemi? ""I'm not Steve Buscemi."""

"How do you make a dog drink? Just throw it in the blender."

"This morning I saw a homeless guy talking to his shadow... Does that mean six more weeks of recession?"

"What's the mass of a large chunk of tree? 10g"

"How is being a pimp like being a farmer? You get some hoes and they get dough for you."

"It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them. The police call it indecent exposure but whatever...."