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Joke of the Day

"I phoned the local gym... and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'"

Next Joke
 
"My girlfriend called me a pedophile the other day. I thought, wow, that's a big word for an 8 year old."
"What kind of pants does Mario wear? Denim denim denim"
"Apparently, having sex with a condom... is not as good as having sex with a person."
"Why dose the navy use liquid soap? Because it takes longer to pick up."
"Why did Tommy Drop drop his ice cream Because he got hit by the ice cream truck"
"It's getting Hot In Herre, so take off all your clothes! Also, drink this water because I don't want you to get dehydrated. -Nervous Nelly"
"What do you call a man with three arms and a pegleg? I have no idea because the actual joke is always in the comments."
"Why wasn't the plastic surgeon worried about running out of breast implants anytime soon? He had a large drawer of chests right there in his office."
"What kind of star wears sunglasses? A movie star."