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Joke of the Day

"Fear of hospitals isn't irrational, I went to 1 once for a stomach-thing & I've had a kid following me around calling me ""mom"" ever since."

"GUY WHO INVENTED JACK-O-LANTERNS: I bet this gourd would be cooler if it looked like it wanted to murder me."

"Room service: Would you like your glass of wine before din...Me:(interrupting) YES."

"What happens when someone mixes Francium, Oxygen, Tungsten, and Nitrogen after it explodes? The chemist may frown."

"Chemistry Joke: What is ""Me""+""U""... A rare gathering."

"I don't really like my beard But it's growing on me"

"Rick Astley asked to borrow my Pixar collection. I said ""Rick, you can have Toy Story, Cars & Finding Nemo but I'm never gonna give you Up"""

"Why didn't the bunny hop? No bunny knows... :("

"The worst is when you text someone and they text you back 2 hrs later but you already keyed their car and emailed their secrets to everyone."

"Forgot to tie my bikini top back before I stood up from sunbathing on the beach. Now I know how to get help carrying my chairs to the car."