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Joke of the Day

"Fear of hospitals isn't irrational, I went to 1 once for a stomach-thing & I've had a kid following me around calling me ""mom"" ever since."

"Why did Mozart kill his chicken? It kept saying ""BACH BACH BACH"" Why did Mozart kill his other chicken? To impress his Wolf-gang."

"I got a new car for my wife! It was a great trade!"

"What do you call a boar that sounds like a horse ? Neighbor?"

"Long-time lurker, first time poster and I had this really great gay joke I wanted to share with you guys Butt Fuck it."

"I can tell exactly how much someone weighs by how much noise they make when I push them down the stairs."

"BRENDA: I brought cookies! ME: I guess I can have one, I've been good all week *eats cookie* *eats entire tray of cookies* *eats Brenda too*"

"To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office Just know that I will find you. You have my Word."

"What does the 'H' in Jesus 'H' Christ stand for? Haploid"

"My wife was happy when I told her a put a load in the dishwasher... Until 9 months later when Consuela's baby came out looking just like me!"