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Joke of the Day

"My wife was happy when I told her a put a load in the dishwasher... Until 9 months later when Consuela's baby came out looking just like me!"

"The thing about statistics is, if you gather enough, you'll find a coincidence."

"So I got banned from the DIY store. I was just looking for a vibrator."

"Me: Diets suck. Why I gotta do it too? Her: No I in team Me: Isn't 1 in diet either. Her: Yes there.. Me: I'm too hungry for your mindgames!"

"Guy brings a giraffe into a bar... The giraffe passes out on the floor and the bartender says ""hey, you cant leave that lyin there."" The guy says ""it's not a lion, it's a giraffe."""

"How do poor people make it rain? They don't."

"Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get the Chinese Newspaper. Do you get it? . . . . . . . Me neither, I get the New York Times"

"What do you get when you visit the dentist with a dollar? Buck-teeth!"

"Where does Iron Man live? Iron know."

"What would I be if I were twice myself? a meme."