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Joke of the Day

"They laughed at me when I bought Velcro sneakers but no one will be laughing when the great shoelace drought of 2044 comes"

"I just found a jar in the fridge, with expiry date 21/12/2012. I looked at it twice, and indeed, it was mayannaise!"

"I finally got my crush wet.. She got mad at me because i stole her umbrella"

"Holy shit, FREE BANANAS at Walmart if you walk around eating them while you shop!"

"Went to Syria last month.. Had a blast."

"What does a monster do when he loses his head? He calls a head hunter."

"What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!"

"Do you know how much cocaine Charlie Sheen uses ? Enough to kill two and half a man."

"That's about as useful as... ...Anne Frank's drumkit."

"Two antenna met on a roof... fell in love and got married. The wedding wasn't much but the reception was *excellent*."