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Joke of the Day

"That's about as useful as... ...Anne Frank's drumkit."

"Coworker came back into the office after being out sick for one day. Me: Feeling better? Him: Yea, I had a bad case of Ass Glaucoma. Me: What? Him: Yea! I couldn't see my ass being drug to work!"

"Blonde Did you hear about the blonde who got in a taxi? The driver kept the 'VACANT' sign up. (Found this in WuMo)"

"What was the Preacher turned Drill Seargent's favorite command? Present Alms!"

"I flipped off a latino guy who cut me off in traffic and now I'm polling at 8% in the Republican primary."

"How do you know your fridge is going through menopause? It's all out of eggs.."

"Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career? She had no sense of porpoise."

"I get so pissed off when the 'Dawson's Creek' theme song doesn't suddenly play in the background while I'm having a magical moment."

"I pulled a real douchie move this morning... your mom's vagina has never been happier."

"""Endless shrimp"" sounds nice until you realize they are serious. It's a threat. The shrimp will never stop."