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Joke of the Day

"AMA Request Floyd Mayweather never mind, it would take him a year to finish the first comment."

"ME: [leaning over toilet] Hold back my hair YOU: Ok ME: [drinks from toilet like dog] YOU: You've made your point I'll wash up some glasses"

"What's Bill Corby's favorite type of Jello? Grape. The ""G"" is silent. Just like his lovers. Edit: I can't edit the title, I suck at spelling -_- (and proofing)"

"two year old comes up to me asking if I've seen a dummy, unaware that she's just set herself up for the most brutal slam of her little life."

"I dated this Muslim girl once... She was the bomb!"

"What happened to the broken down frog? It got **toad** away!"

"her: the manager of the McDonalds down the street called today... him: [sitting on couch next to Ronald McDonald statue] Did he sound mad?"

"I had a dream that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted."

"Me: You bought 6 bottles of carpet cleaning solution? Wife: Yes. Me: We have hard wood floors. Wife: I had a coupon that was expiring today!"

"My Grandad invented the roller coaster. But the cups just slide off the coffee table."