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Joke of the Day

"I remember as a child, lying in bed waiting for Santa to come... Then there was always that awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

Next Joke
 
"Beggin'Strips: Stop pretending dogs don't know it's not bacon. They smell cocaine in a cooch across an airport; I'm sure they know NOT bacon"
"My latest trick is turning big plates into small ones. It's saucery."
"Why do Jewish people have big noses? Air is free"
"What goes 99 clonk, 99 clonk, 99 clonk? A centipede with a wooden leg! *^^Joke ^^I ^^found ^^in ^^the ^^Tokyo ^^Ghoul ^^tag ^^on ^^Tumblr, ^^my ^^brother ^^loves ^^this ^^one!*"
"What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!"
"Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper. Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either!"
"Jeb Bush just tweeted a picture of a gun engraved with 'Gov. Jeb Bush' with the caption 'America' At least he'll never have to get it re-engraved"
"eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches."
"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... And one turns to the other and says ""Dude, I can't believe I blew thirty bucks in there"""