200742

Joke of the Day

"Jeb Bush just tweeted a picture of a gun engraved with 'Gov. Jeb Bush' with the caption 'America' At least he'll never have to get it re-engraved"

"What's the difference between a pizza, and this joke? One has cheese on it, the other's just plain cheesy."

"How old is your Grandma? I dunno but we've had him a long time."

"Joke from Glasgow What is the best thing you can put in a pie? Your teeth!"

"My mother's star sign was cancer. Ironic how she died, really. She died due to fatal injuries from a giant crab attack."

"Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days ? Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I'v never paid $20 to have a garbanzo bean on my face"

"Turns out today is Star Wars day... May the fourth be with you."

"I've had 6 cups of coffee and am about to shave my pet cactus"

"Starfish would be great politicians. They do shit out of their mouths after all."