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Joke of the Day

"Two antenna's fell in love and got married. The actual wedding wasn't that good but the reception was excellent."

"By the volume of the pans clanging and slamming in the kitchen... I think I'm supposed to be volunteering to help with something"

"SON: Is it true trees kill more people than wild animals do? [tree hiding in broom closet tenses up] DAD: Nonsense. [tree sighs in relief]"

"Kid: Mommy, mommy! Can I lick the bowl? Mom: No, you have to flush it like everyone else."

"If I die before I wake, please convince mom this twitter account is fake. Amen."

"Lets role play I'll be Osama, You be a cave, and I'll hide up inside you"

"Saw an Alabama fan the other day He was wearing a t-shirt that said ""I Bleed Crimson"" I walked up to him and said ""You big dummy, we all do"""

"Why is it called the 18th hole and not the final fore"

"My nine year old's yo momma joke Yo momma so fat her patronus is a cake"

"Funny joke v0.01 What's black all over? Niggers."