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Joke of the Day

"By the volume of the pans clanging and slamming in the kitchen... I think I'm supposed to be volunteering to help with something"

"What is the lactose intolerant man's least favorite chore? Laun-dairy."

"My Uncle saved a Crumbling Cartography business Needless to say he put them on the map."

"ME: genie, i wish i was dead GENIE: [makes me dead then brings me back to life] ok u have two wishes left ME: i dont think u understood"

"""Because Im a goddamned rock star!"" wasn't the answer my boss was looking for as to why I was late to work, lesson learned."

"Running a custard factory has its challenges You really go through thick and thin."

"A snare drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ba dum PSH!"

"Why doesn't Russia import water buffalo? Because they already have Moscow."

"What do u call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"Two old ladies sitting on a park bench.. Two old ladies sitting on a park bench, a streaker ran by. One of them had a stroke, the other just couldn't reach."