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Joke of the Day

"A snowman tells another snowman. Snowman 1: Guess what? Snowman 2: What? Snowman 1: You smell like carrots ps. not sure if this joke has been posted before"

"Bobby Flay's sister is pretty big in the dessert game too. Sue Flay."

"I tried to smuggle LSD across the border using my ass The bag broke, then I had the shittiest trip"

"ELECTRICIAN: [walks into home] GF: WHY ARE YOU IN SO LATE? E: Honey, we've talked about this. GF: [sadly] Ok.... wire you insulate?"

"I just broke up with a hoarder... I'm the only thing she could get rid of"

"If I can ever learn how to fold a fitted sheet, I will consider my life to be a successful one."

"Difference b/w secretary & private secretary Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary? Ans: Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR & Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR"

"What does a rock artist say to a jazz musician? To the airport please"

"THE ROOSTER ALSO CALLED A COCK LOVES THE KITTY WET THE CAT FALLS INTO A BUCKET OF WATER THE ROOSTER LAUGHS THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS A COCK LIKES A WET PUSSY."

"kids can't play outside b/c of the miniscule chance they'll be kidnapped. at age 16 they get keys to a 2000-pound machine powered by fire"