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Joke of the Day

"Why do terrorists hate air planes made of water? Because they hate waterboarding."

"I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months I don't like to interrupt her."

"I'm ""had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn't pick up and start dialing"" years old."

"Your mom is so fat Even Jesus couldn't lift her spirits up."

"So it's world Philosophy day today and I was trying to think of something deep to say... The best I could come up with was lagoon."

"He rose from mild mannered Social Studies teacher... To vicious kingpin of a criminal cupcake empire. Coming soon to AMC: ""BAKING BRAD"""

"Isis released a statement saying, ""Fuck Tom Brady!"" Turns out they heard that he is the G.O.A.T."

"I imported a Honda directly from Japan and was forced to pay a large tariff... ...that's OK though because it's my Civic duty."

"I bought my girlfriend a big helium balloon for her birthday it didn't go down very well."

"SWJ goes to the laundromat . . . . . . . . and is appalled by everybody being ok with separating whites from coloreds."