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Joke of the Day

"He rose from mild mannered Social Studies teacher... To vicious kingpin of a criminal cupcake empire. Coming soon to AMC: ""BAKING BRAD"""

"What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower? A widower."

"Everyone at my funeral gets a stun gun. The last person standing gets all my stuff."

"Did you hear about the Mathematicians Gentleman's Club? They were famous for their signature dance: the Mobius Strip"

"What's the definition of endless love? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis"

"""War Horse"" and ""The Help"" are the SAME movie! I watched them on my laptop and they BOTH have a 90 minute scene where I just check Facebook."

"If you're a delivery driver and don't get a tip... You get shafted"

"When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can't get any worse, please remember...I don't give a shit."

"What did Adele say when asked where her dog is? Groomer has it"

"What happens when a lawyer becomes the leader of communities? [deleted]"