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Joke of the Day

"He rose from mild mannered Social Studies teacher... To vicious kingpin of a criminal cupcake empire. Coming soon to AMC: ""BAKING BRAD"""

"Before she died... Bully: *poking and pushing me into lockers* Me: You suck I hate you! Bully: That's what my mom said before she died... Me: ...oh"

"I've always had a deep connection with mirrors I see a lot of myself in them"

"What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife."

"[at my dad's funeral after he drowns] ME: *places a wreath made of a life preserver on the coffin* It's what he would have wanted..."

"What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer"

"It's bikini season, so you're allowed to shoot bikinis as long as you have a permit."

"What do you do to a scientist after he dies? You Barium."

"What do you get when you cross a horse, an elephant, and a rhino? Helephino."

"What did the snobby bird say to the poor bird? *Cheep, cheep.*"