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Joke of the Day

"I'm ""had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn't pick up and start dialing"" years old."

Next Joke
 
"How do you titilate an ocelot? You oscillate its tit a lot."
"Sometimes you need to look for the small positives in life. Like a midget with HIV."
"What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a large pizza? ""A large pizza can feed a family of four"""
"What's Hitler's favorite game? Meincraft"
"I'm sticking to my guns. I really should have washed my hands after I ate."
"I got tasered by a female cop the other night.. never have I laid eyes upon a more stunning beauty."
"Metro don't trust trump. Future gon' shoot him."
"Why did Alexander Graham Bell never receive a nobel prize? Because it's a ""no bell"" prize."
"Why can't your jokes ever make NRA members laugh? Because jokes don't make people laugh, people make people laugh."