95627

Joke of the Day

"I'm no different than any other bachelor. I put my pants on one leg at a time and clean the house once every new girlfriend."

"What did the leper tell the prostitute? [Keep the tip!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0PIdWdw15U)"

"What's the worst game to give someone who has OCD and anxiety issues. Perfection."

"Do you know what really grinds my gears? Poor clutch control."

"Why did the introduction and the conclusion break up? They were just never on the same page..."

"Boss: What's for lunch? Me: Food. B: What kind of food? M: The kind you eat. B: ... M: ... B: ... Me: You hired me. This is your fault."

"I dated a guy who always kneeled and prayed before sex. I still don't know if he was scared of what I'd do or thankful. Either way, amen."

"Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it that often."

"Our parenting style can best be described as: Bad cop, Bozo cop"

"What's the mean difference between normal sex and the act of necrophilia a. 16C b. 18C c. 20C"