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Joke of the Day
"I used to be a plumber on the International Space Station Shit was outta this world."
Next Joke
"Saw a homeless white girl begging for money. I didn't give her any, because I know how they are, always blowing it on Starbucks."
"My friends holds her breath driving past cemeteries cause of superstition but I thought she just didn't want to be cocky about breathing"
"I hear Bernie has his own personal knives and forks... They're called cucklery"
"A guitarist was sent to jail for fingering a minor"
"Nicki Minaj knows we can see her, right?"
"How does a boat captain determine his profit? By using aquadratic equation. (Via my coworker)"
"So, how do you make your truck look like Lance Armstrong? hang one tennis ball from the tailgate!!"
"Nicki Minaj washes off her Halloween make up to reveal Lady Gaga who washes her face to reveal Madonna who washes her face to reveal an Emu."
"I watched a documentary about the victims of anorexia. Maybe I would have taken them more seriously if the camera didn't add 10 pounds."