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Joke of the Day
"I once bought an e. e. cummings poem collection.. It was the worst game of Mad Libs ever."
Next Joke
"Pharmacist: Don't take this while driving and make sure you eat- *crushes pill and snorts off the counter* ""Ok"""
"RIP Daenerys Targaryen we will miss you. #SPOILERALERT Just kidding. I haven't seen the latest episode yet."
"A man walks into a zoo The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a Shih Tzu."
"""Hey, let's make the inside of this building & every square inch of everyone & everything smell like THIS."" -inventor of incense"
"Its ironic.... ... that you lot just don't get irony."
"Laundry Day Me: Tell me about this lipstick on your shirt. Him: Babe, I can explain! Me: Don't care. Just ask her the brand and shade name."
"Ey gurl, are you a TSA agent? Because I've got an unattended package I think you should investigate."
"What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction? ""What the Fuck!"" and ""What a Fuck!"""
"What's the most common owl in Britain? The tea towel"