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Joke of the Day

"[robbing bank] leader: go in & grab everything you can *i go in to grab loot* Me: (yanking pen chain, increasingly panicked) no no No NO NO-"

"What do you call a group of pirates having sex? An *Arrr*-gy..."

"What did the one explorer say to the other when they arrived in Northern Canada? Eh, you take this one. I don't want Nunavut. PS: I realize it's a double negative."

"Alphabet soup Good for your vowels."

"Burping up Taco Bell is like returning to the scene of the crime"

"MUGGER: give me ur wallet ME: stand back i have mace MUGGER: [sniffing] is this cookies-scented febreze"

"What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday? A stole."

"How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it"

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasaurass"

"What is similar between a strip club and the Artic The poles are cold and then they are getting warmer."