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Joke of the Day

"MUGGER: give me ur wallet ME: stand back i have mace MUGGER: [sniffing] is this cookies-scented febreze"

"What is a Pirates favorite letter. You think it be RRRRRRRR but it be the C!"

"Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because someone threw a fridge at her...."

"What is Obama's least favourite instrument in an orchestra? The Trumppence"

"ITEMS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD OWN: -Little Black Dress -Cute flats -Strappy s- ok now that the men have stopped reading, we revolt at dawn."

"One man including myself thinks I am funny. I came up with this a minute ago."

"[blind date] ""I'm like, really good at *looks on hand* making the sex"" -did you just read that off your hand? ""Hey! You're not blind!"""

"What's the difference between the IRS and Jared Fogle? The IRS waits until you're 18 to fuck you."

"Kind of morbid (sorry) (From my uncles) Him: Have you ever fucked a dog as long as you wanted? Me: NO! Him: Why'd you stop?"

"What do you call a frog spy ? A croak and dagger agent !"