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Joke of the Day

"What is similar between a strip club and the Artic The poles are cold and then they are getting warmer."

"[son falls over & hurts himself] ME: aww poor kid, he needs a little THC WIFE: don't you mean TLC? ME: [huge bong rip] he needs what now?"

"Three men of different ethnicities walk into a bar. The first two say something smart. The third completely embarrasses his countrymen by saying something stupid."

"I like my women how I like my bicycles, chained up in the garage."

"Post this on your Facebook then count your programmer friends. My phone is broken, please send me message on my Facebook or my Gmail."

"Sometimes I walk up to a plant and exhale carbon dioxide all over it. Did I save its life? Maybe. Am I a hero? That's for history to decide."

"A groom raises his glass to toast his wife on their wedding day I've finally found a perfect girl i could not ask for more she's deaf and dumb and over sexed and owns a liquor store."

"Of course every kiss begins with k. That's how the English language works, stupid."

"LOVED ONES: When I die, I want you to throw a sad party where you all look at my dead body US, FOR SOME REASON: Ok that's no problem"

"Dance Dance Revolution is an intense game but an even more intense to-do list"