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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: You need a kidney transplant. Me: A transplant? Dr: Don't worry, I've never lost a patient. I know where each one is buried. Me:"

"People who call their loved ones ""name""-kin As someone who is *actually* meta-kin, I find it really offensive."

"Rape in an elevator is wrong.... on so many levels"

"I'll have a foot long Italian with turkey and cheddar cheese. Whoops, wrong sub"

"Part of our choir got kidnapped last week! Two guys just got arrested for grand theft alto."

"You remind me of my pinky toe. You're small, cute, and I'm probably going to bang you on the coffee table later tonight"

"Turtles do nothing and are slow as hell, yet they live for like 200 years. I'll probably live forever."

"Never trust anyone under 30 lbs. Especially when it comes to driving directions. Babies are liars."

"What do the jews use to browse the internet? NethanYahoo!"

"Did you hear about the guy who invented the shovel? They say his invention was groundbreaking"