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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas? he's now a seasoned veteran"

"I've been eating sunflower seeds and Tweeting for 9 hours. Now I know what my canary feels like."

"I went to the doctor.... he pulled down his pants, and I said, ""Dr. ewwwwww!"" He said, ""My name's not Drew."""

"The Thing About Godzilla Sex... Is that you can see it coming a mile away."

"Two gay men go into a bar. One says to the other, ""Can I push in your stool?"" Not sure if its a repost. My coworker just told me this."

"My then 7 yo son came up with this one. Warning: NSFL (I think. This is /r/Jokes, so...) Knock knock *Who's there?* Ala *Ala who?* Ala oo akbar!!! Bkhkhkhhhhhhhh!!! (explosion sound) :P"

"""My name will live forever!"" - Anonymous."

"What do you call a British guy who throws a spear through the knee? Britney Spears"

"Heard this one at the bar last night: Women are good for 70 things... Making sandwiches and 69."

"What was the deaf mans favorite song? The Sound of Silence."