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Joke of the Day

"I went to the doctor.... he pulled down his pants, and I said, ""Dr. ewwwwww!"" He said, ""My name's not Drew."""

"My girlfriend said she was leaving me because of my smash mouth obsession But then i saw her face..."

"My wife's always walking into things and getting hurt. Today it was our bedroom while I was fucking her sister."

"Never go to target in a red shirt. I was holding my kid and someone asked for help. Like yea just let me finish stocking the toddlers first."

"What do you call a Cuban Prime Minister with a lot of attitude? Fidel Sass-tro"

"Did you hear about the Casino that hired a Blacksmith? He who smelt it, dealt it."

"An old lady standing in line at a bank machine asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over."

"Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a jar of peanut butter? A: An elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth."

"My German friend brought his newly-bought laptop to me... ...and said ""I shouldn't have bought one with a English keyboard. Can you tell me what this is?"" He then pointed at the space bar."

"A man is chasing a talking emu... The Emu is taunting him, saying ""you can't catch me! I can run at 80 km/h, you can only manage 20!"" to which the the man replies ""You can run but you can't fly!"""