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Joke of the Day

"""My name will live forever!"" - Anonymous."

Next Joke
 
"Reddit servers"
"H: Gross! Stop peeing in the shower! Me: Why? Everybody pees in the shower. H: Yeah but you're not in it right now, I am."
"[at bar] ""Yeah I pulled down a solid 6 figs last year."" Whoa that's impressive! ""I know, right! Can't believe I got fired by that fig farm."""
"Two muffins are sitting in an oven The first muffin turns to the other and says ""gee it's hot in here"" The other muffin replies ""holy shit! A talking fucking muffin!"""
"If God is always watching... ...then one day, while masturbating, I'm gonna look that motherfucker straight in the eye and finish like a boss."
"Q: Why don't matches play baseball? A: One strike, and they're out."
"How do you make a dead baby float? 2 scoops vanilla, 1 scoop dead baby."
"Dad please dont mess my hair up and say love ya' in public, I'm in a gang now"
"How do you keep a blonde in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow."