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Joke of the Day
"The Thing About Godzilla Sex... Is that you can see it coming a mile away."
Next Joke
"People ask me the secret of a good tweet. It's called ""proof-reading"". Perhaps you've hard of it"
"""You clean up nicely"", is just a polite way of saying, ""You usually look like shit."""
"""Let me get them digits."" - creepy accountant"
"for those who received a book from me this Christmas. They're due back at the library tomorrow."
"What is Cab Calloway's favorite type of humor? 'scat'alogical"
"How did Jared Fogel lose 60 pounds? He broke up with his girlfriend."
"What's the difference between a priest and acne... What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits until you're 14 to come on your face."
"I wasn't planning on sleeping with that alchemist, but one thing Pb to another..."
"I'm a 40 yr old man sitting at a Cafe with my eyes closed, squirting packets of mayo from under the table at the window as people walk by."