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Joke of the Day

"I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass."

"I love when I leave work early to surprise my wife at home and she greets me with those three very special words... ""Were you fired?"""

"Why did the mother cat pick up her kittens? She didn't want to litter"

"Ok children, what sounds did we hear on our field trip to the farm yesterday?...""Moo!"" ""Bahhh!"" ""Quack Quack""...""Get the Fuk off that tractor!!!"""

"What do they say in vegetable church? Lettuce pray."

"What happens when you give a cow a joint? The steaks are high"

"Today, I took a shower You have no idea how hard it was to get it out of Home Depot."

"Mom Can we go out and play with granny? Yes, just don't bite her nails or I'll close the coffin"

"It was that time of the month. I said to the wife, 'you know, your mouth isn't bleeding...' She replied, 'yours will be if you keep up with that shit'"

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."