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Joke of the Day

"Mom Can we go out and play with granny? Yes, just don't bite her nails or I'll close the coffin"

"I've had good' tattooed down my cock. I like to see a bit of good in everyone."

"What do you call a hard drive in a hydraulic press? File compression"

"Tonight's special: Hummus-fed pigeon leg, rolled in coffee grinds, served on a bed of fresh lawn clippings $105 - Fancy restaurants"

"Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I'm going home now."

"You know Coca Cola's newest advertising campaign in russia? Under each seventh cap - **vodka**!"

"*Meeting GF parents* What are your intentions with our daughter? Uh I need someone to sing the girl parts of Grease songs with me"

"What did the skeleton order at the restaurant? Spare ribs."

"How did the clerk greet the prostitute? ""What can I do you for?"""

"Do you want to speak to the manager or someone who know's what's going on?"