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Joke of the Day

"What happens when you give a cow a joint? The steaks are high"

"PSA: If you have kids, do not label the box of your ...ahem.. special items ""Toys"". It's very awkward to explain."

"I don't like snakes, but ""Diarrhea on a Plane"" would be a lot scarier."

"Me: You'll always be my girl. Daughter: Even if I break stuff? Me: Depends on which stuff."

"Damn girl are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up"

"I sharpened all my kitchen knives today. Now I can't help but slice everything as if I'm in an infomercial."

"*Speed Dating* Him: Do you have any hobbies? Me: *tying my hair in a big knot under my chin so I look like I have a beard* ""TAAA-DAAA!"""

"Where in the world can you find the highest concentration of Jews? The atmosphere."

"What do Congressional Republicans and ISIS in Afghanistan have in common?. Their first act since arriving was to go after the elderly."

"Where do Communists go to get burgers? Czechers."