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Joke of the Day

"Ok children, what sounds did we hear on our field trip to the farm yesterday?...""Moo!"" ""Bahhh!"" ""Quack Quack""...""Get the Fuk off that tractor!!!"""

"The Cheesecake Factory had a ""Help Wanted"" sign. I was really disappointed that it wasn't to help eat the cheesecake. #FluffyChickProblems"

"Granny always said, 'If in doubt, check it out.' My addition: 'If the answer gets your goat, punch 'em in the throat.'"

"When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject... These days if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow."

"I didn't like Age of Ultron You don't even figure out how old he is."

"If your wife walks in and turns the light on while you're staring at the ceiling, make sure you yell ""My eyes!"" BEFORE she starts changing"

"He died doing what he loved, forgetting to put my potato wedges in the bag."

"Wait, so hallways in mental institutions aren't called psychopaths? Well they should be."

"What happens when a vampire drinks too much? They get a fangover."

"Smooth jazz always puts me to sleep... ...must be the mellow tonin'."