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Joke of the Day

"A pirate, a chicken and a train enter a bar. ""what can I get you?"" ARR BKAWK CHOO CHOO"

"Two Jehovah Witnesses walk into a bar. LOL JK. They knocked."

"Just found out men can have sex at 88..... which is handy cos I live at 94 so it's not far to walk home after."

"Guy stole my bike so I got in a cab & said follow that guy! He said sure, whats his twitter name? We laughed & hi-fived & I need a new bike."

"Going from Obama to Trump is like going to a nice restaurant but it's full so u leave and have to eat an old ketchup packet from ur car"

"Get a slab of bread dough. Wrap dental floss around it. Congratulations, you've seen me naked."

"I scream. You scream. The police come. It's awkward."

"My girlfriend talks to her dog like it's going to talk back. Kind of like when Christians talk to God."

"Ladies... If you want guys at the bar to leave you alone don't tell them you have a boyfriend cause men don't care about that. Tell them you have a p*nis."

"What did Oliver Twist say at the slave auction? Please sir, I want some moors."