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Joke of the Day

"Get a slab of bread dough. Wrap dental floss around it. Congratulations, you've seen me naked."

"What kind of phone does a burglar use? A no-key-a"

"The teacher asked her class, ""Who can make a sentence containing 'defense', 'defeat', and 'detail'?"" Little Johnny puts up his hand and says, ""Defeat of de dog went over defense before detail"""

"What did Harry Potter say when he fell down the hill? ""Ouch! I Hermione!"""

"Everyone on the planet is such a hypocrite and so self-centered Oh, except for me of course"

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and declare 'Drugs' the winner of the war on drugs."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He started eating before it was cool."

"I currently own a system which is exactly 14 times better than Windows 7. I call it: Windows 98."

"I'm getting a little tired of these people coming to my door telling me I need to be ""saved"" or ""I'll burn""... Stupid firefighters."

"If you think ""Terminator: Genisys"" is going to be bloody... ... just wait until you see ""Terminator: Leviticys."""