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Joke of the Day

"What did Oliver Twist say at the slave auction? Please sir, I want some moors."

"I was asked to find the word ""Impost"" in the dictionary. it was next to impossible.."

"Farmer vs Prostitue What is the difference between a corn farmer with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks between fits"

"There are three types of people in the world. Those that are good at math and those that are not."

"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste"

"I'd rather vote for Monica Lewinsky than Hillary Clinton... ...because at least a little bit of Bill rubbed off on Monica!"

"Netflix and chill is cool... But let's be honest guys, we know for most of you it's Netflix and Jill Edit: if you don't know who Jill is, take a look at your hand."

"Why did the programmer die in the shower? He followed the shampoo instructions."

"My wife caught me looking at a seagull at the beach so now we're in this big fight."

"I had my stag do in Amsterdam. To remember the occasion my mates got me a sweater. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, however."