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Joke of the Day

"Send me one more game request and I'm showing up at your house hammered, at 4am, naked and demanding a game of Twister..."

"My friend told me Kanye West was the next John Lennon I replied ""Then I'll be the next Mark David Chapman"""

"Half the time, I just want to respond to an ELI5 thread with ""I'll tell you when you're older."""

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish."

"What does ABC stand for? American dyslexia association."

"Chuck Norris was banned from competing in the National Karate Championship. Everyone he competed with the year before ended up in the Special Olympics."

"This weather girl is giving the weather report and her titties are blocking the state of Texas. #LoneStartitties"

"There is a guy at my job who wears a turban... ...I wonder if he has ever called in Sikh to work?"

"Steve would be a terrible name for a pegasus."

"Fun prank: a chameleon exhibit with no chameleon."