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Joke of the Day

"A black man walks into a bar, with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks: ""Where'd you get that?"" ""The jungle."" Replied the parrot."

"A horse walks into a Police Station. Not a joke it actually happened http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-29550834 I would welcome a few jokes based upon this though."

"What happened to the guy who farted in church? He sat in his own pew."

"Retweet this and you'll go to heaven. Yes, the standards are now that low."

"What's the final product Steve Jobs released? The iDied"

"A grizzly mauled a guy in an elevator... but I couldn't bear to see it go down."

"At a business meeting: ""How about SuperCupid?"" ""No, expectations will be too high"" ""GreatCupid?"" ""Lower"" ""Uhhh, OKCupid?"" ""Brilliant"""

"[pet store] Me *looking at snakes* ""CAN I FEED THEM?"" Pet Store Employee [never looks up from his phone] sure. Me *putting my kids in tank*"

"What's the difference between a joke and a pussy There's a chance you might actually get a joke."

"A pumpkin-shaped woman should never wear a bright orange top and a brown beret unless she wants to make my whole fucking day."