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Joke of the Day
"Why did the peadophile sign up for Netflix? He liked chillin."
Next Joke
"That awkward moment in church when you put your hands together to pray & you see the stamp from last night & you remember..."
"My wife asked me: ""Shall we go bowling or stay cozy home."" I replied: "" I am sick of putting my fingers in holes that everyone has touched with their sweaty hands. Let's go bowling!"""
"I hear Adrian Peterson is getting into baseball... Apparently he's a great switch hitter."
"[invention of blue cheese] ""this cheese has gone off"" sell it ""but it's gone mouldy"" I SAID SELL IT! ""fine"" & double the price ""are u ok?"""
"Didn't realize how much motherhood had changed me until I army crawled in & out of my sleeping baby's room to get my 1/2 cup of cold coffee."
"A man tried to sell me a casket today.. I told him that's the last thing I need."
"You can tell a lot about someone by the tank top they wear. For instance, if they wear a tank top, they're probably a dick."
"I went to a child psychologist once. He was rubbish. He was only seven."
"Pistorius.....Sounds like something Harry Potter would say to make your legs fall off."