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Joke of the Day
"A man tried to sell me a casket today.. I told him that's the last thing I need."
Next Joke
"Damn girl are you a cornfield? Because I'm stalking you."
"Here lies IcarusIsNotLonely, upon his gravestone lie his last words: ""Oh fuck, a car!"""
"Football gave me a traumatic brain injury and I was only watching."
"What's black and always in the back of a police car? The seat."
"Gin & Tonic: 91 calories. Banana: 105 calories. Choosing the healthy option: Priceless."
"Food is like dark humor. Not everybody gets it."
"How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb? ... Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?"
"What does a walrus and tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal."
"I wrote a book about my car It was an auto-biography"