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Joke of the Day

"the vibrator was invented when Dr Edward Vibrator got extremely chilly whilst shagging Mrs Vibrator and his shivering sent her to cum town"

"Tried Turkish food today... It was revolting"

"You're Twitter famous. Cool, cool. I won a dodgeball tournament in 3rd grade and I got a real trophy for that."

"What if you get to heaven and God is like ""Nah bra you can't get in. Remember when you saw my picture on Facebook and you kept scrolling?"""

"How does the devil measure his drugs? In pentagrams"

"What's red, bloody and hangs of the back of a train? Miscarriage."

"Nobody in America dies as a virgin... because our government fucks us all."

"woke up just in time to push my cat off the bed before he threw up. today is going to be magical."

"Jared Fogle got 15 years 8 months. But officer, she told me she was 18!"

"My girlfriend hates my cheesy jokes They really grate on her"