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Joke of the Day
"moisten thyself and wait for me in the westernmost grunting shed"
Next Joke
"The taco shop gave me napkins, don't they know I'm a professional burrito eater? That's like giving condoms to a porn star."
"When you're trying to kill a clown... Go for the jugular."
"#rubbishjokes What's black and white and makes a lot of noise? A panda with a set of drums."
"My five year old niece told me this one... What do you call a 60 foot platypus? A platybus!"
"My mate died from a bad case of heartburn I can't believe Gaviscone."
"They won't give me insurance on my phones anymore, but yet they don't make phones that survive being thrown against walls? It's nonsense..."
"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass rex"
"*lays in bed for 12 hours I guess I'll get up now *walks over to couch & lays down"
"[first day as Tour Guide in History Museum] ""And if you look over here you'll see a lot more really old shit."""