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Joke of the Day

"When you're trying to kill a clown... Go for the jugular."

"If Trump wins the presidency, what will be his reelection slogan in 2020? Make America decent again."

"DON'T make this weird... (I whisper in your ear, as I pet your eyebrows)"

"I always enjoy sharing old memories with the @sshole from my old high school... while he is ringing up my groceries."

"Optimistic Thought of the Day: You are always 1/3 of the way towards having a threesome."

"What tea do hockey players drink? Penaltea!"

"That one onion ring didn't end up in your french fries by accident. That's Burger King's way of flirting with you."

"What's 7 inches and makes women submissive? A knife."

"I tried to explain Pokemon to my 4-year-old. After hearing myself say it out loud, I'm pretty sure I ruined both of our childhoods."

"I told Jim he is upside-down His nose runs and his feet smell."