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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I'm feeling really tired, I just watch the new Star Wars trailer... Because The Force Awakens me"

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Michael Phelps can finish a race."

"What starts with e, ends with e, and has a letter in it. envelope"

"Two dyslexics walk into a bra"

"I slept like a baby last night. I pooped my pants and cried myself to sleep."

"Ferguson joke. Too soon? Black guy walks into a bar in Ferguson. Says to the bartender, ""Give me a Michael Brown."" Bartender says ""Ok. Put up your hands."" the gave him six shots."

"My pastor said the day gay marriage was made fully legal in the US was worse than 9/11."

"I had a weird dream I was eating a hairy lollipop. Woke up this morning and my wifes head was covered in slobber."

"First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory."

"Hubs and I have fought so much lately I've lost 10 lbs. I thought about leaving him, but I'd like to lose another 10 lbs first."