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Joke of the Day

"So sorry... Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say... Unless you're Chinese, then it's ""squirrel""."

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"What do you call a person with no brain? A no-brainer"
"Irritable Bowel Syndrome is genetic. It runs in your jeans."
"[hospital] SON: I came as soon as I heard. What happened? DAD: The oying hit me SON: What's an oying? DAD: You are, kiddo *dies*"
"How do you find a black person? Guilty as charged."
"I named my penis Richard That's long for Dick Hey - at least it's not another Turkey joke."
"According to my doctor it would be best for my health to stay away from trans fats I'm really gonna miss Tumblr."
"7yo: Let's not talk ALL day today 6yo: Ok! Me: *holy shit yessss* 7yo: LET'S ONLY WHISTLE AND CLAP INSTEAD Me: Right. Of course."
"My plan to reduce shark attacks. Get them hooked on meth. Getting gummed by a toothless shark probably tickles."
"What is the difference between a computer and a woman? A computer only has to have information punched into it once."
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