91621

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear what they're planning for the next episode of 'Glee'? It's a 'Walking Dead' crossover."

"What do you call a french man who's been attacked by a bear? Claude"

"My marriage is based on trust. And according to my wife's lawyers, that trust is based offshore."

"*walks past yoga studio* *looks in window* *eyes widen* Awesome. It's like kindergarten. *walks into class* *unrolls mat* *takes a nap*"

"My mom drove her car into a tree. She sure found out how a Mercedes bends."

"*wife comes home* ""Did you fix the toilet?"" Yep! [she opens door & is hit by avalanche of plums] ""You called the plummer again you idiot!!!"""

"How do you write the sound made by a pot or pan bouncing down the stairs? ... ... ... ... ~~~"

"2 little kids, Billy and Tom, are goofing around in a cannibal village. Billys mum sticks her head out and yells... ""Billy, stop playing with your food!"""

"There are two kinds of people in the world Those that can extrapolate from missing information"

"Love is that really warm feeling that starts from the tips of your fingers and goes towards the bottom of your hand. Oh no wait that's glove"