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Joke of the Day

"My son and his friends are great ... They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home"

"Doctor: You have to stop eating donuts... Me: OK D:...so that I can start the operation. M: [STUFFING DONUT UNDER OXYGEN MASK] For later."

"Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred."

"What can't you hear a pterodactyl go the bathroom? Because the P is silent..."

"I don't always eat breakfast in my underwear but when I do, I get escorted out of Waffle House."

"I spent 8 hours on my Math book yesterday Gotta admit , i slept pretty peacefully"

"The doctor recommended cutting back on alcohol for a better quality of life. Then he saw my wife who had come to pick me up! He said, ""You can consume all the drinks you want, it's healthy."""

"What do you call a muslim in the 90's? Radical"

"I finally found a book where the love interest is a grandfather clock It's about fucking time"

"Usain Bolt and I have a lot in common I can run for less than 10 seconds and enjoy smoking Degrasse"