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Joke of the Day

"For Halloween, my neighbor put up a Wolverine themed scarecrow. And it's terrifying my daughter. I guess she is claw-straw-phobic..."

"What is the difference between a baby and a stamp? I don't have a stamp collection."

"The war on Christmas? Yeah, I started it. But in my defense, maybe Santa warns a person before his home invasion and I don't take him out."

"Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to break his promises."

"Everybody always asks my why I like chess so much... yeah"

"I shot my first turkey today! But I scared the hell out of everyone in the meat section."

"One time I accidentally gave my cat acid. Thought he would really freak out but he just looked at me calmly and said meow for 10 hours."

"Do you know why only half of the women on earth will experience a real orgasm during their lifetime? There's only 30 millions of Frenchmen on earth."

"I highly doubt that Monica Lewinsky will support Hillary in 2016. I mean, the last time a Clinton was a president, it left a really bad taste in her mouth."

"Telephone Problems by Ron Number"