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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Ants can lift things that are heavier than they are Kid: How can a thing be heavier than it is? T: No-[sees it's almost 3 pm] Magic"

"""Tony, why do you always go around spelling your name backwards?"" Tony: ""Why not?"""

"I love emoji. No longer do I have to type out ""This weather is yellow face with hearts instead of eyes"""

"if you run over a bicyclist with an acoustic guitar on his back the cops will pull you over and give you a briefcase with money in it"

"Maybe the baby wasn't on board. Maybe the baby was against the whole thing."

"What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common? They both come when you're alseep."

"Ready to earn money staring at my screen all day so I can afford to go home & stare at my screen all night, repeating the process unto death"

"Sci Fi Films I don't understand why in Sci Fi films, whenever there's danger they never send in a Cargo ship. So much for the Element of Supplies."

"Careful, the circular motion you make with your hand to tell someone to roll down their car window is giving away your age."

"Lois Lane unexpectedly comes to visit Clark Kent but he can't find his glasses so he has to stick his face in a pie like Mrs. Doubtfire."