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Joke of the Day

"A woman was on trial for murdering her husband with his guitar. The judge asked, ""First offender?"" She replied, ""No. First it was the Gibson, then the Fender."""

"Organised a threesome last night There were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time."

"What do you call a guy that hangs around with musicians? A drummer."

"Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute? A rooster says kok-a-doodle-doo and a prostitute says any-kok'll-do"

"What is Batman's favorite sport? Baseball."

"What do they do to dead scientists? They barium."

"Guess what God said to Joan Rivers when she just arrived in Heaven? Thank you, Bruce really needed those botox to make his wife and daughters as beautiful as he is"

"Dora the explorer has got a new muslim friend. (xpost from r/mockingislam) Called Doda the exploder."

"Truthful Tuesday: The last time I had sex, I was so excited afterward I fired my musket skyward, alerting the Confederates to our presence."

"My ex broke up with me but left a bag of chips in my car. 3 weeks passed and I texted ""I still got your chips if you want them."""