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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!"

"MOM: [walks into daughter's room, sees protest signs, history books, list of senators' phone numbers on bed] Are you... politically active?"

"Working out is like sex It's the best way to make your family larger."

"My husband got his hand stuck in the dishwasher. So of course I had to fire her."

"""I'd like two scoops of ice cream, please."" ""Chocolate or vanilla?"" ""Yes."" ""Yes what?"" ""Yes, Sir, ice cream man, Sir!"""

"I have this thing where I like to take a crap with the door open. Unfortunately, not everyone at Starbucks feels the same way."

"What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers? A virgin"

"Why do babies cry so much? YOU'RE MOM."

"My son asked me what's it like being married. I said ""You know how you have to eat your vegetables to get dessert? Like that""."

"A comedian walks into a club and says the punchline."