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Joke of the Day

"What do they do to dead scientists? They barium."

"Parenthood is where you spend 18 years saying no all because of that one critical time you said yes."

"How are the Seahawks and my girlfriend similar? they both can get 16 shoved down their throat without choking"

"Fun prank... Make them study for 16 years and then don't give them jobs"

"When I was single, my most frequently used approach with women was to play hard to get rid of."

"Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress? She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement"

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? Because he was too far out, man"

"Employees are rungs on the ladder to success... don't be afraid to step on a few."

"If we have sex in the dark, there's a 50% chance that I'll put it in the wrong hole and a 100% chance that I did it on purpose."

"(NSFW) What's a vagina's favorite type of music? Cuntry!"