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Joke of the Day

"Twelve years ago today, my brother gave me one of his kidneys. I still can't believe that he did it. I wasn't even sick."

"Did you hear about the erectile dysfunction support group meeting? It was a total flop, nobody came."

"A cannibal ate a charismatic... He threw up his hands"

"In Soviet Russia Assholes are like Opinions KGB only lets you keep one of them"

"Last night I masturbated over my ex-girlfriend. I know it's not right, but she's a heavy sleeper and I still have a key."

"I farted in an Apple store today and everyone yelled at me... Like it's my fault they don't have Windows..."

"Roses are red....violets are blue I'm using my hand... But I'm thinking of you."

"How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend? Meat patty! Thought of you guys!"

"You know what they say about big feet... Big socks."

"Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!"